Chapter 1.2

Entering the hexagonal room, Artes Telaios found three others to be already present. Corastes, Magister of Spirit and Pratoras Gorios, Magister of Psyche looked up at him. Corastes was the oldest man in the academy, and his beard even longer than his own, While the five magisters were supposed to be equal, Corastes was the effective leader of the council. Pratoras had recently acquired his position on the council, after his predecessor retired at a fairly young age, far younger than Corastes or even Artes was. Artes had come to know him as a man that spoke little and always chose his words carefully.

The ever mysterious Magister of Shadow was always present before any others, as if to remind them that he was always there, even though he often spoke little.

“Welcome, Artes,” Corastes said. As the Magister of Earth sat down. They shortly waited for Iocas Pelu, Magister of Gymnastics, before starting the council meeting.

“We have a few minor issues of politics to discuss. Is there any topic of concern any of you’d like to put on the agenda?” Corastes asked the others.

“I have one,” Telaios told him, drawing the attention of the other four to himself. “It’s the young Tharash Kaern, son of Epiathos, as you all know.”

“And what is your concern?” Corastes asked. “He is one of the better students in my class.”

“Not in mine,” Telaios shook his head. “Not that he’s one of the worst, but he struggles with the mathematics. He seems easily distracted, but asks good, critical questions on the topic where his mind is at. That’s just rarely the topic the rest of the class is working on,” he explained his observations.

“Indeed. He lacks focus and determination.” Iocas Pelu nodded. “I doubt he could ever become the swordsman his father was.”

“Not everyone needs to be a warrior, Iocas. I shall guide him more through the mathematics. It seems to be his weak point, so unlike his father,” Telaios added.

“Indeed,” the Magister of Shadow said. Four heads turned towards the masked figure. When the Magister of Shadow spoke, he always provided another perspective or pointed out an important mistake. Which made that one word so unusual.

“Epiathos’ sudden disappearance is regrettable. It is understandable to seek someone that could fill the hero’s role. It is also understandable to find that someone in his son. What you are all forgetting is that Tharash is not his father. He was not raised by his father, never even met him. So what reason do you have for expecting him to end up as someone that is no example to him?”

The four magisters looked at each other. “He must have adopted some of his father’s talents,” Pelu proposed.

“Some, yes. But does a child tend to adopt all its parents’ characteristics? Does it not develop talents of its own?” the Magister of Shadow continued his questions.

Silence urged him to continue: “If you continue to push him into a mould that does not fit him, he will not reach his full potential. Does this academy not pride itself on the ability to develop each student’s unique talents?”

“As always, you ask the right questions, Shadow,” Corastes said politely. “We should develop the talents he has, not the ones we’d like to see in him.”

“So what are his talents? So far I have heard about the parts where he struggles. In which subject does he excel?”

“Definitely astronomy. I have heard nothing but good words regarding him from Tharo,” Telaios immediately answered. “I will talk to him about the boy.”

“Then my concerns are answered,” Shadow said to close the discussion, allowing them to move on to other matters.

>>Chapter 1.3

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5 responses to “Chapter 1.2

  1. Aywren May 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    I like the way Shadow thinks. Heh. He’s now “Shadow” to me. Poor guy. : p

    This chapter reinforces my thoughts on the previous chapter. Now that I see Telaios discussing his point of view here, I feel that you should strongly consider editing out the point of view shift in the previous chapter. All of his thoughts are well focused and expanded on here.

    Nice dialogue overall, and a good debate. It helps to put Tharash into perspective.

    However, I’d really like to know more about each of these guys! Shadow certainly stands out, even in the way he speaks. But what about the others? Do they have some sort of quirk or manner that sets them apart? Maybe a certain pattern of speech?

    They each appear to be masters in different areas, which would be fun to develop if you spent some time fleshing them out. It doesn’t have to be anything super deep — it only takes a few small observations to make side characters memorable. As it stands, you’ve introduced a lot of names and dialogue, but I really don’t get a strong feeling for each of the Magisters as people or personalities. While it’s not needed, it could provide more color and stronger background overall.

    Okay. Red Pen Time:

    Typo: “if he starts to focus and maybe pick up a real weapon”
    Should be “picks up”

    Paragraph break after “The four magisters looked at each other. ”

    Typo: “Does it not develop talents of it’s on?”
    I’m assuming you mean “of it’s own”

    Repetitive wording in this line: “Silence urged him to continue: “If you continue to push him”

    Typo: “Corastes said polite.”
    Should be “politely”

  2. illinia May 5, 2012 at 10:32 am

    I’d personally disagree with saying “pick up” is definitely a typo… if you interpret the sentence as reading: “if he starts to pick up a real weapon”, it works too. Just my two cents. : )
    (also, “talents of its own”, no apostrophe. ; D )

    • aywren May 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

      I guess I can see how “pick up” could go either way. My internal reader wanted to add an “s” to it, though, so it may just depend on the voice you want to use. As with anything, suggestions are only suggestions, so take what is useful and don’t sweat it if it’s not.

    • aywren May 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

      Sorry for the double reply (early in the morning), but I re-looked at the sentence and I see why I said to put an “S” on the end. That would place both verbs in the same tense.

      “if he starts to focus and maybe pick up a real weapon”

      You used “starts” with an “s,” therefore, “pick” needs to follow the same verb tense and end with an “s” as well. That would give you “starts to focus” and “picks up” which is grammatically correct.

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